Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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