No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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