I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize