Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize