You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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