I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
