A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
