I want to stick my p in your. b.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think my vagina is haunted
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
