I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
