Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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