the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
