tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
