Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
