I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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