Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
