Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
