btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
