so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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