is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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