sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
