You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
