Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
