I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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