so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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