i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize