yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is wine microwaveable?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
