Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
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why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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