Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
