Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
