You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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