I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Randomize