You made me cry and you don't even care
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
