it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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