Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
