hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
