He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
honey bunches of taint.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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