my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
