I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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