Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
