She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
