I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
