rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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