if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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