Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
