I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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