she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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