It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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