The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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