if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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