i need an iv and a liver transplant
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize