Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize