She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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