so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize