the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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