Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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