Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My bed smells like the plague
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
