Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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