I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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