ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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