he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
