Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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