There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Randomize
