had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
